I never knew Surrender could be so hard!
We have this hallowed image of Mary the Mother of Jesus seared into our minds. “Let it be to me as you have said.” Her response to the messenger’s proclamation, beautiful. Her hallowed pregnancy and painless birth in an immaculately kept stable.
But what of her parents discovering her pregnancy? Her father enraged. Did her mother believe her story or scream at her in shame? The threat that they may turn her out in the streets and deny her as their daughter.
For the law for an unwed mother was stoning.
The fear that must have surfaced. What have I done? What will become of me? Will I and my child survive?
I never knew Surrender could be so hard!
The risk of broken relationships – not only with her parents, but also with Joseph, her love. He was gracious enough not to bring her before the public. At least she would live. But the look of woundedness on his face when he assumed her unfaithfulness. He was going to put her away secretly. Intimacy severed.
Her future as she had pictured rupturing before her eyes.
Lord, this is not what I dreamed of for my marriage. Will I be alone forever? Will things ever be the same?
I never knew Surrender could be so hard!
The required travels to Bethlehem to be counted. Three hundred miles of travel across unkept terrain at the end of pregnancy. The aches. The pains. The beginning of laboring in the wilderness – wondering, worrying, who will be there to assist me?
For this Child is meant to be.
Will we make it to Bethlehem? Will anyone come to my aid?
I never knew Surrender could be so hard!
Every door they knocked on in the unfamiliar town said no room. The labor pains now coming more frequently. Breath was hard to catch, sweat dripping from her brow. Would her babe be born in the streets?
But this was no place to birth a King!
A stable? With animals? The filth, the germs, the stink, the discomfort. It was better than nothing.
I never knew Surrender could be so hard!
The waves grew so intense. Her body wracked and contracted to rotate the babe through her bones. Tissues stretching, burning searing into her the commitment she had made. “Let it be to me.” Grunting, panting, desperately hoping for a break. Afraid of the push to come. Then her waters, an explosion and a wash. What was to come next?
Pressure like she had never felt before.
I can’t do this! Somebody help me! This feels impossible! How will my babe come to me?
I never knew Surrender could be so hard!
Effort like she had never before known from somewhere deep in her soul, bearing down the son of God. Pushing forth with strength, with beauty, tears streaming down her face. This was harder than she imagined. Over and Over again, allowing her body to stretch around this Christ child, the burning descent and the final push that brought it all to completion.
Jesus was Born. Emmanuel. God with us!
What should I do to keep him warm? Joseph, the lambs cloths. Get those. Will they suffice for this tiny boy? Nothing has happened the way I imagined or dreamed.
I never knew Surrender could be so hard!
And as she pulled that precious babe close, she may have reflected on the conversation with the messenger from God. “You will bear a son, and you will call his name Jesus.” How she surrendered her heart to that truth and the challenging journey that followed. Everything that led to this moment of her son in her arms, fresh flesh, blood and water, born right where the sacrificial lambs would be born. And she treasured these things in her heart.
The Savior of mankind. The way to God. The gap bridged, and she played a crucial role.
The beauty of Surrender that brings forth freedom.
I never knew Surrender could be so hard!
We are led by God to go or do or be, and we imagine the beauty of what is to come. For we say, Yes to God, and we expect the way to be easy, painless, full of joy and satisfaction – because after all, we are obeying.
But then the trial, the challenge, the changed expectations, the struggle, the fear, the loss, the way we try to be brave, but really we just don’t know.
Financial difficulties. Household conflicts. Relational upheaval. Losing a job, or friends, or family, or a pet. Sickness, disease, death. Roles we never asked for. Unexpected Expenses. Economic struggle. Trying our best, and still “failing.” Severing of intimacy. We feel unsafe. Unseen. Unloved.
Maybe we missed something. I thought this was supposed to be easier.
When Mary said yes, and when we do as well, the Angel didn’t promise ease and a painless birth. For he said she would BEAR a son. So too, we must face the struggles of this life that we live.
But as we bear forth to birth the plan of God in our lives, he is there, working with us to accomplish his purpose. Jesus was in her womb. Emmanuel, God with us. A synergistic relationship working along side us in the hard. He didn’t leave Mary alone in her pregnancy or laboring struggle. And he will not leave us alone in our labor for his Kingdom.
For he is Emmanuel! With us! He is! He is! He is!
GOD WITH US!
And with Him, we can admit: I never knew Surrender could be so hard!
For he holds that.
He holds us!
Hard.
Held.
Holy.
Surrender!
The blessings of Emmanuel be yours this Christmas Season!
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