The Enneagram Type 3 is known as the performer or achiever. They draw their value from what they do and how well they do it.
Though next door neighbors to the Type 2, a Type 3 can be more self focused due to an underlying message that they have to perform in order to be accepted.
The type three is driven, confident, and goal focused. They can be a great team builder, but sometimes can come across over competitive. They tend to have natural leadership skills and can stay focused on the task at hand making sure it is completely finished. They love checking things off their list and then moving to the next thing! They are hardworking and diligent and don't mind being in front of a crowd. They use their charm and charisma to engage people around them and love it when people applaud their achievements and performances.
At the core, a Type 3 believes that they must succeed in order to be worthy. They fear failure more than anything but also fear being worthless, unsuccessful, or inefficient. Ultimately, a Type 3 fears being exposed as "not enough." A Type 3 longs to be valuable outside of what they "do" or how well they perform. Their wounding childhood message was "It is not okay to have your own feelings and identity!"
A Type 3 takes in information through their feelings. They feel the urgency to get things done; they feel the potential risk of failure. Then they take those feelings and process them in a logical way to make decisions. A Type 3 is detached from the emotions these "feelings" create since they see emotions as a waste of energy a potential block to their ultimate goals.
A Type 3 is assertive, energetic, and unmoving. They would rather move onto what is next than to be present in the moment. They are full of passion and energy and can come on very strong.
A Type 3 in conflict will use logic to argue their point. They will remove all emotion to attempt to find a speedy solution. They prefer to dull the hurt and conclude the conflict efficiently.
A Type 3 is realistic about getting their needs met. They find a deep sense of self based on their attachments in life. Threes find value and worth in who they know as well as what they do.
A Type 3 in growth moves to the high side of a Type 6 becoming more willing to engage with people, forming alliances, and proving loyalty. The healthiest of 3's ARE who they appear to be (generous, impactful, energetic, motivator), and it is no longer just an act in order to be successful. In stress, a Type 3 moves to 9 and may find themselves lacking motivation, wasting time, and even giving up their passion for success. They can find themselves stuck in ruts of meaningless fulfilment (TV binges, overeating, etc.) in order to avoid their emotions and feelings of failure.
The Core Question that a Type 3 is always asking is "What's Next?" They find it exceptionally difficult to be satisfied with what they've just accomplished for any length of time, and are always looking toward the next thing!
An Enneagram Type 3 wants to do ALL THE THINGS in pregnancy and birth in order to be the best at their goal of having a baby! They long to be a successful birther and impress the people around them with the decisions they make and the ways they handle their pregnancy and birth process.
They might have a very long "to do" list throughout pregnancy and may find resting and caring for themselves to simply be a "waste of time." They may find themselves more focused on the results than the process of birth and may find themselves detached from their own longings and desires (they never believed they were valuable anyway).
Type 3's usually don't have a problem making decisions and are fairly confident, but they need to be aware of the deeper feelings and desires that may arise later if they don't honor those longings now.
Truth to Hold to: "You don't have to have it all together!"
A type three so longs to avoid failure that they may even move to the side of "pretending" they have it all together just so they are not seen as inadequate. They need to understand that no one can be the best at everything, and birth is unpredictable at best. So letting go of the external persona is crucial!
A Type 3 needs to decrease self-imposed pressure to be the best at birth and needs to be surrounded with encouragement that they can simply do their best with what they have in that moment. They need to know that their wants and desires are as valuable as being a success! And if they are able to honor those, their birth experience will be a beautiful whole-person experience. They also need to be surrounded by a supportive team they can trust. Authenticity doesn't come easy to a type 3, and they will be healthier if the people at their birth are already in their inner circle.
Are you a type 3? How did your personality affect your labor and birth?
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