The Enneagram Type 2 is known at the helper, giver, or lover. They are very others focused and have a difficult time knowing themselves.
The Type 2 is very intuitive with the needs of others, always using their connection to their heart to "read" others and perceive how they can help. They will go out of their way to be kind to a stranger and even kinder to those they know. They are extremely generous with their time and resources and serve others in order to show their love.
At the core, the enneagram type 2 believes that in order to receive the love they desperately long for, they must meet the needs of those around them. They fear rejection (which is the ultimate in being unloved), being thought worthless or useless. They long for appreciation for who they are rather than what they do, but many times find themselves trapped in the thinking that what they do for others determines how they are loved. The childhood message they latched onto is: "There is No room for your needs!" This creates a sense of instability and a constant longing to be taken care of - though they doubt they ever will be!
Type 2s take in information through their emotional feelers. They are a highly perceptive type using their great intuition and sensitivity to others feelings and needs to gather information about how they can help and serve those around them. This information enters through their heart (they FEEL what others feel) and then they ask: How should I act based on this feeling?
Much like the Type 1s, a Type 2 gains their identity based on outside feedback. "Am I helpful enough?" This can lead to people pleasing and repression of their own emotions and needs.
Type 2s will downplay how upset they might be when they are faced with a conflicting situation. They might be quick to apologize even if they are not sorry in order to end the conflict which results in not getting to the root issue - meaning it might surface again. This can lead to resentment and bitterness as the hurt festers inside without ever being fully healed.
Type 2s believe that others won't understand or be able to meet their needs. They tend to "pre-reject" themselves before other can and work hard to make themselves indispensable by loving and serving well. They have a hard time believing they can be loved simply for who they are.
In seasons of growth, a Type 2 will travel down their arrow to 4, finding more personal awareness and sensitivity to their own emotions, taking care of their own needs, and dabbling in creativity simply for the pleasure of it. They realize that in taking care of themselves, they can better take care of others! In stress, a Type 2 moves to 8, growing more controlling and fearful of vulnerability. They can become co-dependent and manipulative. They might even display anger, then pull back in shame after they realize that they've hurt the one they love.
The core question of a Type 2 is: What are the Needs of Others and how can I meet them?
When the Type 2 is pregnant, you will see one of the most loving, caring and engaged mamas. She is working hard to be sure that her baby is well loved and cared for - doing all the things to maintain a healthy pregnancy and making sure she is bonding with baby even before they are born.
Unfortunately, the tendency to be aware of the needs of others also causes a double bind as mama may neglect her own physical or emotional needs in order to serve the family and friends that currently surround her. When asked what her needs are, she may defer and return the question: "Well what do you need/want right now?" Being in tune with her body and emotions may be difficult since she is always so externally focused.
Because Type 2s believe at the core that there is no room for their needs, they have a hard time receiving love and care from others even when it is offered.
A Truth to Hold onto is: It is okay to receive support and have others serve you!
A Type 2 in pregnancy and birth needs:
- To learn to tune into their own bodies and understand their needs and emotions. This can be accomplished through practicing mindfulness, doing body scans, taking time away to enjoy nature or hobbies. It's necessary for them to understand their internal world so that they can assure their needs will be met in labor and birth!
- They need to be reassured that it is okay to ask for help and that others truly care about and will meet their needs!
- They need to understand that their value is not determined by the outcome of their labor and birth experience. Their ultimate value simply comes from being the beautiful person they already are!
Are you a type 2? How did your personality affect your labor and birth experience?
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